How to brief a referee without writing their letter for them
A clear brief helps your referee speak to the criteria. Crossing into ghostwriting helps no one.
Strong recommendation letters come from people who know your work and understand what the programme values. Your job is to make that knowledge usable—not to draft their praise in their voice.
Send a one-page brief: the programme name, deadline, evaluation criteria in the programme’s own words, two or three projects the referee personally observed, and any forms they must complete. Attach your CV and the draft statement if they ask for context.
Do not send a finished letter “for convenience” unless the programme explicitly allows applicant-drafted letters and the referee has asked for a starting draft. Even then, they should revise heavily so the letter reflects their judgment.
In our referee guidance sessions, we often find applicants over-briefing with flattery lists and under-briefing with concrete dates and outcomes. Referees remember the afternoon you handled a difficult client; they may forget the exact month unless you remind them.
If a draft letter returns thin—generic adjectives, no examples—you may politely ask whether they have capacity for more detail, or whether another referee would be better placed. Protect the relationship; do not pressure.